Happy Mother's Day!

This is my first Mother's Day without my mom. She passed this past November. God sent His son to show us all what real love was...and then He sent my mom to show that to me personally. In honor of my mom, I'm posting what I said about her at her funeral:

Naomi, Aunt Nay, Mammaw, Sis, Mom…Naomi Fay Chapman Fights certainly wore a lot of names. All of these names represent what she meant to different people and the impact she had on their lives. The life we honor and remember today was lived, not in the spotlight, like so many of the Grand Ole Opry stars she adored as a youngster, but behind the scenes. Naomi rarely sought the attention and accolades of others, instead preferring to operate more subtly, encouraging, loving, and most importantly, living a life of faith and service to those around her. The history books won’t record the life and times of this woman, but the impact of her life on those whom she loved will be eternally etched in their lives. Now that her days here have drawn to a close, it is appropriate that tribute finally be paid to Naomi.

Proverbs 31 speaks of this “woman of noble character.” The writer here easily could have been describing Naomi. (Proverbs 31:29-31) She cared for so many. She anonymously toiled so that others might be lifted up.

Though a woman of modest means, Naomi’s charitable giving was unparalleled. Money, to Naomi, wasn’t a means for self-gratification. It was a way to help and bring joy to others. Some of you here have accompanied Naomi on her famous shopping trips, especially Pam and Alysa. You know only too well her penchant for “closing down the stores.” Yet, at the end of the day, when Naomi emerged from Walmart, or Kohl’s, or Penney’s, overburdened with bags full of merchandise, very little of what was purchased was for her. She couldn’t resist a pretty new dress for her granddaughter, or the UK shirt for her son, or even the cute baby outfit for a little girl she only knew through her sister. Naomi’s generosity was unrivaled. She proudly proclaimed her desire to share her modest gains with those she loved so she could experience the joy with them. I think everyone would agree; she accomplished that mission.

And if she was modestly blessed materially, Naomi was a wealthy woman when it came to love and happiness. All of us here can look back with warm and fond recollections of Naomi’s sharing of those gifts. To Naomi, family was everything. Above all things in the world, she valued the love of her family. Aunt Nay never forgot a niece or nephew’s birthday. She rejoiced in their triumphs: graduations, weddings, the birth of their children. One of her most fervent prayers was for the health and happiness of her nieces and nephews.

In 2000, Naomi gained special status when she became “mammaw.” Although apprehensive of flying, she was quickly in Florida to see her new grandson. In 2004, that honor was bestowed again when Olivia was born. When we moved back to Ohio later in 2004, mom opened up her home to us while we looked for a house. From then on, “Mammaw’s house” held a special place in Bryson and Olivia’s hearts. In 2007, Mammaw sold her house and came to live with us. Bryson and Olivia relished going downstairs to Mammaw’s because she always had some sort of sweet treat there for them, even when they hadn’t finished their supper. Bryson regularly asked if he could “stay with mammaw” on Friday nights. The two of them would watch “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader” together. Likewise, Olivia needed her time to play with “Neemaw.” Whether it was pretend dishes prepared in the toy kitchen Neemaw got her one Christmas, or playing pretend with her Dora house, Neemaw was Olivia’s favorite playmate. The memories created there will stay with Bryson and Olivia a lifetime.

“Sister,” or “Sis” was a special name known to her brothers and sister and their spouses. Sis never differentiated between her siblings or their spouses. Each was as blood to her. Sis was both protective of and protected by her brothers. As Jimmy struggled with cancer, she stood vigil by his bedside, sharing memories of their childhood. Though separated by miles, she took every opportunity to do the same with only elder sibling, Leeroy. Norman, despite having shot her in the belly with a BB gun (after she bit him in the leg for drowning her doll) was special to her. He was the “keeper of family stories.” How many times did she engage Norman in conversations about aunts and uncles and cousins? Gwin was very special to her as well. Closest in proximity to her house, she loved feeding Gwin whenever possible. Whenever she fixed a mess of beans or fried potatoes, she’d either invite Gwin or comment on how much he loved them. Allan, the baby brother was a source of great pride. She bragged about his accomplishments often, and relished the time they spent together at his home in Kentucky. How her eyes would light up whenever she heard that he and Bev were going to be visiting.

There was a special bond, however, with her only sister, Pam. They laughed together at how often store clerks would confuse them for mother and daughter. The bond of their relationship reflected that even if the biology didn’t. They were always there for each other. When Naomi was going through her ordeal with Bill’s family, Pam was there to comfort her and open up her home. And of course, here at the end, it was Pam who nursed her, cared for every need, and provided the loving comfort that only she could give. In between, was a lifetime of treasured memories, countless hours on the phone, marathon shopping trips, and of course their famous expeditions to Florida and Minnesota as “Thelma and Louise.” I’ll never forget how the two of them laughed and spread their joy at being together to everyone around them. Their bond as sisters could only be broken by death.

Finally, let me address the final name, the one I knew her by: Mom. Before I get to me, let me share with you the love my mom had for her “daughter,” Alysa. Many stories of horror and negativity have been passed down about the traditional relationship between mother and daughter-in-law. My mom, like most, was protective of me. Not just anyone would be good enough to care for her only boy. Alysa was that woman. She commented to me often about how grateful she was that God had put Alysa in our lives. And when she came to live with us, you might think it was Alysa who had to worry about crossing a line and having to deal with a mom defending her son. No, if Mom thought I was out of line, or not doing right by Alysa, she let me know in no uncertain terms. She loved her “daughter” (as she liked to write in greeting cards) immensely.

As for me, it’s pretty simple. Mom gave everything for me. Being a single mom, especially in her time and place, was a difficult proposition to say the least. I can’t tell you the number of children I’ve worked with over the years who’ve had similar circumstances as I did. Their troubles and struggles were lacking one thing I never lacked though: the unconditional, undying love of a mother.

Mom gave me many things: food, clothes, a roof over my head. She worked long hours at Formica and saved every penny so that I could go to college. Even in my adult life, even when she lived in my house, even when she lay in that hospital bed, on question always came from her lips: Do you need anything? Well, mom, here is my response: No, I don’t need anything because you gave me the most important thing anyone could ever have: the love of Christ. You showed me what that love looks like and modeled his grace and humility every day of your life. So no, mom, I don’t need anything else. That’ll be quite enough for me to get by. Now you go home and rest.

I love you mom.